Revision
1)settings
The sky is green, a little bit of yellow and blue. The girl's face is in the middle of the picture and she is 90% of the picture. She has blue long hair, green eyeballs and curly eyelashes. She has a neutral smile. She is smiling on one side, and not smiling on another side. She has a pair of earrings which have two different styles of puppet boys on each side. She is looking at the boy on the right side in suits. It seems like a windy day because the girl's hair are floating in the air.
2)plot
Didi loves blue very very much. One day, Didi received a birthday gift from her friends and the gift is a pair of earrings which have two puppet boys on it. She loves it and can't wait to put them on. The two puppet boys are all in blue. One is in light blue suits with a dark blue collar. The another one is in a blue striped sweater and dark blue pants. She looks at them for a while and smiles on one side. She notices that the hair of the puppet boy in suits is not blue. She wants the earrings to match with her hair and clothes' color. So she......
Comments
Loki: Everything is good except the ending part. It's a little bit confused for readers.
Tony:Give more details for the boy in suits.
Revision:
The sky is green, a little bit of yellow and blue. The girl's face is in the middle of the picture and she is 90% of the picture. She has blue long hair, green eyeballs and curly eyelashes. She has a neutral smile. She is smiling on one side, and not smiling on another side. She has a pair of earrings which have two different styles of puppet boys on each side. She is looking at the boy on the right side in suits. It seems like a windy day because the girl's hair are floating in the air.
Didi loves blue very very much. One day, Didi receives a birthday gift from her friends and the gift is a pair of earrings which have two puppet boys on it. She loves it and can't wait to put them on. The two puppet boys are all in blue. One is in light blue suits with a dark blue collar. The another one is in a blue striped sweater and dark blue pants. She looks at them for a while and smiles on one side. She notices that the hair of the puppet boy in suits is not blue. She wants the earrings to match with her hair and clothes' color. So she grabs a box of paint from sky and pours the paint over the boy's head. The boy suddenly becomes the same color as the sky. And the girl smiles again. The sky where were stolen paint has been turned a pale green-blue.
The sky is green, a little bit of yellow and blue. The girl's face is in the middle of the picture and she is 90% of the picture. She has blue long hair, green eyeballs and curly eyelashes. She has a neutral smile. She is smiling on one side, and not smiling on another side. She has a pair of earrings which have two different styles of puppet boys on each side. She is looking at the boy on the right side in suits. It seems like a windy day because the girl's hair are floating in the air.
2)plot
Didi loves blue very very much. One day, Didi received a birthday gift from her friends and the gift is a pair of earrings which have two puppet boys on it. She loves it and can't wait to put them on. The two puppet boys are all in blue. One is in light blue suits with a dark blue collar. The another one is in a blue striped sweater and dark blue pants. She looks at them for a while and smiles on one side. She notices that the hair of the puppet boy in suits is not blue. She wants the earrings to match with her hair and clothes' color. So she......
Comments
Loki: Everything is good except the ending part. It's a little bit confused for readers.
Tony:Give more details for the boy in suits.
Revision:
The sky is green, a little bit of yellow and blue. The girl's face is in the middle of the picture and she is 90% of the picture. She has blue long hair, green eyeballs and curly eyelashes. She has a neutral smile. She is smiling on one side, and not smiling on another side. She has a pair of earrings which have two different styles of puppet boys on each side. She is looking at the boy on the right side in suits. It seems like a windy day because the girl's hair are floating in the air.
Didi loves blue very very much. One day, Didi receives a birthday gift from her friends and the gift is a pair of earrings which have two puppet boys on it. She loves it and can't wait to put them on. The two puppet boys are all in blue. One is in light blue suits with a dark blue collar. The another one is in a blue striped sweater and dark blue pants. She looks at them for a while and smiles on one side. She notices that the hair of the puppet boy in suits is not blue. She wants the earrings to match with her hair and clothes' color. So she grabs a box of paint from sky and pours the paint over the boy's head. The boy suddenly becomes the same color as the sky. And the girl smiles again. The sky where were stolen paint has been turned a pale green-blue.
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